Home

It’s a feeling, not a thought,
that he’s going to come home
and he’ll kiss me and say he loves me.
And the pain will be over.
And we can chat and cuddle and say
“it’s the happiest place in the world”.

A part of me is waiting for him,
the part that is sending me tears
that haven’t yet reached my eyes.

But he’s not coming.
Our family is torn to pieces.

He takes my treasures away.
I don’t see them for days.
I watch them walk away
and feel the warm tears meet the cold air.

My living heart, companion of my solitude
I hardly knew you
You show me your raw nakedness
And I find myself caring for you
Being fascinated by you,
Your movements I never knew before he left,
Before he betrayed.

Months of pain
Have turned into occasional bursts of sadness,
Mixed with new delights and strength I didn’t know,
And even some peace.

He may never come home.
But I will.